I have been editing these pictures of my sister and her boyfriend and for some reason it has only made me think more about going back home for the summer. It is definitely a mixed feeling situation having to move again. I really love my family and feel happy to get to see them for a while again, but because of everything I have been through in the past years, “changes” are particularly hard for me.
This past year has been a different kind of ride though, I have learned so much being away from home. I have been exposed to so many different people and their personalities. I have met people who think in ways I never thought one could approach life. I have come to the conclusion that we all carry a little extra info about ourselves that we don’t share with the world; but even though I feel like I have experienced so many new things, there are still endless questions that I don’t know how to answer about my life.
It is not that I am comfortable with living where I am now, it is just that I have yet to find the balance of my own personality being here and being home. I still sit here and wonder who my real friends are, and then I realize that I sometimes I put up a wall between me and people. I do this only because I don’t know them yet, and I am scared to get to know them; but last night, I was talking to a good friend who is graduating this week, and I asked her: “When did you realize who your real friends are here?” and she replied: ” Never, I think I will not know that until after I graduate, then, I will be able to see who stayed with me and who didn’t”.
There is no reason why I should worry about any of this, because this is just my first year. My friend has made me realize that I should be more thankful about the things that I have now. I am thankful for having met nice guys who accept me for who I am. I am tankful for having a family to see back home. I am happy for having stayed true to myself this year. So my goal is to keep growing on my understanding of people. I want to learn to respect all these new personalities. Whether I get along with them or not, I want to learn to tolerate.
So when I see these pictures of my family, I look at them and know that they represent people who have influenced my life. They represent the support they have for me. It is the strength they provide for me that has helped me get through everything I have experienced this year. Regardless of the drama and the stressful times I don’t know where I would be without them. I am ready for the rest of the rid; this school year was only a taste taste of what is to come for the next four years of my life. I cannot wait until next year and all the new things that I will get to do to get closer to my dreams and aspirations. But for now, I am very excited about going home to spend time with God’s biggest gift to me… Both of my families.