I’m coming home. From one dream, to the next.


It is a somewhat bittersweet feeling when I learn new things about myself. Especially when such discoveries help me understand why I do the things I do.

This week I decided to rent/watch a movie that I thought I would end up adding to my “cheesy romantic flick list”. The movie is “The Switch” starring Jennifer Anniston and Jason Bateman. As the plot developed I unexpectedly began to fit in many of the small concepts roaming through the dialogues; and even though learning new things about myself sometimes may feel like an eureka moment, these bursts of emotions are never complete without the various side effects, such as anxiety, nausea and for right now… melancholy. Although my current experience with melancholy is the type which you feel towards something you haven’t yet lost, but that you know the exact date in which you will lose it; and there is nothing you can do to change the turn your life is about to take. All there’s left is me watching the clock while my heart has already began missing what I currently still have.

These were the most painful lines from the movie:

Child- I’m having a birthday party.

Adult-    Oh yeah? You enjoy that… There’s going to come a time in your life when you’re not going to want people to know it’s your birthday.

Child-  Why wouldn’t anyone want people to know about their birthday?

Adult- Because getting old sucks. Most people don’t accomplish what they hope to, and they realize that they are most likely not going to. They end up living these quiet life’s of denial and… and you know… brushing birthdays under the rug just becomes a big part of that.

Ouch…

___________________________

So I made pillows….

While Mojave 3 sang to me…

gotta find a way to get home strong
gotta find a way back home

gotta find a light to guide me along
gotta find a way back home

running for your life won’t get you so far
running for your life so far

gotta find to bring me home slow
gotta find a way back home

the loving in your eye that holds you alive
gotta find a way back home

gotta find a way to get home strong
gotta find a way back home

gotta find a road that brings me back slow
gotta find a way back home

gotta find a way to get home strong
gotta find a way back home

saw you turning
big eyes burning on your way
nothing out there
the time to tell you what you own

never wanted to feel this pain
never wanted to feel so sad
never wanted to feel this pain
today
today

never wanted to feel this pain
never wanted to feel so sad
never wanted to feel this way
no
today
today

never wanted to feel this pain
never wanted to feel this pain

gotta find a way to get home strong
gotta find a way back home

gotta find a light to guide me along
gotta find a way back home

never wanted to feel this pain
never wanted to feel this pain

gotta find a road that brings me back slow
gotta find a way back home

the loving in your eye that holds you alive
gotta find a way back home

gotta find a way to get home strong
gotta find a way back home

gotta find a road that brings me back slow
gotta find a way back home

gotta find a way to get home strong
gotta find a way back home
gotta find a way back home
gotta find a way back home

_____________________________________________


So… The bird on the pillow, the mojave 3 lyrics and the stabs of the movie’s dialogue conclude my current state in life…

I will soon begin the journey to find my way back home, even though I am already home.This flight will take me to a place where I can work hard do everything necessary to make my dreams come true.

-Oro Continua

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